were you there?

I just got back from church. We had a service tonight, being Maundy Thursday, of passion week we took some time to reflect on the life and death of Jesus. It was a profound time of sharing as members of the congregation played the roles of the men and women who were present at the time of Jesus' death.
Were you there when they crucified my Lord? This was the question we sang together in response.
In the role of a 21st century pilgrim this was my part, and this is also my confession and my prayer for this easter season,

Where am I?
I confess I am not always at the cross.
It easy for me to become distracted as I allow myself to go here and there.
I confess I am not always grateful for the cross.
People so easily busy themselves,
with good things mind you, like family and friends, and work and school, and studying and meetings and church.
Life gets hectic.
And burdensome
I must confess I often try to bear my burden on my own
and I try to work out my own salvation
I like to be in control

But I wonder, I just wonder do I betray Jesus with my self-sufficiency?
Do I deny him with my self serving life?

We have been ungrateful,
our hearts have not been humble,
our spirits have not been contrite
Teach us to find your presence, God, at the cross
Teach us to share the cross of Jesus.

Amen and Amen