... keep smiling

Victoria, BC

I have a hard time admitting I’m tired or weak or sick or sad so for me to admit to being all four at once is an accomplishment for me.

Last night I met with the 12 young women I am mentoring, and with my barely audible voice I described to them how tired, sick and weak I am feeling as of late.
I guess I was asking them to love me.
That’s something that shouldn’t be hard to do, but for me it was. In a way I guess I was admitting that a leadership position, or a title does nothing to fill me with love, but that the people I work with sure do. I have come to realize lately the amount of love at my disposal, and it blows me away! Nonetheless I find that I often fail to open my arms and my heart to receive what others freely offer to me. I go through entirely too much of my life questioning the motives of others, rather than just receiving.
Last night I gave myself the chance to do just that, because honestly there are a lot of people surrounding me who give so much love, I just need to grasp it and for now hold on until I’m ready to return it, or maybe I don’t even need to return it?

After carefully weighing the options of going home to be with my family for my Uncle's funeral, or staying here with my job and my people, I decided it would be best for me to stay. I want to be here, this is my choice and I will make it my choice everyday.

This morning I woke up feeling rested and ready to pace myself for the day. On my way down to breakfast I went to lock my door only to find a series of tiny notebook sheets taped to my door with bright coloured marker printed across them and in sequence they read
“Dana get well soon and keep smiling”…