Unknown Paths Can Be Trusted

New Hamburg, ON

This summer has been full of, what I have recently started referring to as, "Super-Sized" Moments.
With any time of transition there have been many emotions involved for me as I navigate through my life these days. I recognize I have not been much of a blogger this summer, but I will now attempt to provide a narrative - which hopefully will help you understand why that is.

Upon arriving home from the completion of my two-year contract with Outtatown I was looking forward to spending the first few days parked on the couch watching movies and taking long naps, only to be interrupted by meals. It was at this point in time that my parents threw out the idea that I should perhaps consider buying a house, as I will be in the area fore the next number of years. My heart froze at the idea and I kindly reminded them that upstairs was my backpack, which remained packed and thus contained the necessary ingredients for my life on the road from the past two years...was I really to consider a home of my own?

After warming up to the idea (read: stability is appealing when one moves every single week and lives out of a backpack for two years), and began a new hobby of scanning through Real Estate papers. Feeling grown up and capable I even set out on a few open houses to 'peruse the market'.

In the midst of this I continued to have meetings at the University of Waterloo, where I will be starting a Masters' degree in the fall. The process was long and complicated but mid-summer I received my official letter of acceptance, and was on the right track to head back to school.

Back on the house hunt, after viewing a number of homes my mom and I went to 144 Brandon Ave. I've heard people say they had a certain "feeling" when they walked into a home they were about to buy, but I always thought that was lame... until it happened to me. I walked in maybe it was the jazz music playing, or the scented room spray, or the calming colours of the living room walls, or the Real Estate Agent that was kind and welcoming... maybe all of the above - but I fell for this house as soon as I entered it. Thus began the process of banking, and lawyering, and inspecting and all kinds of grown up things (from which I will spare you the details) that were not part of my vocabulary that suddenly filled up appointment and meeting slots in my day-planner. Strange... yet true. I ended up buying said house... from backpack to backyard in three short months, talk about a whirlwind!

Back at home (I mean the home my parents own, and where I hang my hat these days) plans were well under way for the wedding of my sister, Teresa and Richard. Outdoor weddings are always a gamble and people should know that before making such plans. With that in the back of their minds the happy couple went on gardening and maintaining the place with the vigor and perfection that is rebelled only by country clubs. As the day drew near our excitement increased, and the place looked absolutely stunning! The week of the wedding my mom and I commented one particularly quiet afternoon that is was almost as though we were in the calm before the storm. It was only a few days later that we would realize the weight of those words, which seemed to foreshadow what was to follow.

The morning before the wedding, the day of the rehearsal (which is supposed to be a relaxed day of fun and last minute preparations) our household was awakened at 5:00am by one of the loudest thunder storms I can remember. I had been nervously listening to the rain splashing off the tin roof throughout the early hours of the morning, and remembered groaning to myself in my sleep "oh no", and then an hour later "oh no, the lawn is going to be wet", then adding again an hour later "oh no, the mulch that was just put around all the trees is going to wash away". But I could never have imagined what I saw as my mom, sister and I went out to the front porch. The rain has filled up the small creek that runs through our property, so much so, that it had overflowed its banks and was slowly but surely creeping its way up the lawn -the very location where the wedding was to be held the next day! It was an awful sight, and I know that people have been in worse situations watching their homes and livelihood be overtaken by water, but this was an awful sight to my eyes that day, watching as water ate up the dream wedding my sister and her fiance had spent months bringing into reality. It was the most flooding my Dad has ever seen in the more than half a centuary he has lived there. The injustice of it made me angry and brought tears to my eyes, I found myself wading out in rubber boots in the lawn teary-eyed asking "Why today???". My sister displayed a sense of strength and self-control, true to her character that day, as she made the best of it and at one point even dressed up for a wet-wedding-photo-shoot complete with pretend wedding dress and of course, rubber boots.

The day turned out to be nothing like the relaxing fun-filled rehearsal day we had envisioned. In fact it was more of a work day for everyone from my dad who ordered in two gravel truck loads of gravel to replace our lane that the flood swept away, to the wedding party who started to set decorations up at the church next door (the back up plan), the reception hall (which was thankful high, dry and indoors), and at the farm (clinging to the hope of plan A). One of the funniest things had to have been after the bulk of the flood water had receded, the bridesmaids began bailing puddles of water off the lawn, , using pails. Then we switched to a pump and then finally the finishing touches with the shop vac. We were vacuuming water off of our lawn! How many bridesmaids can go back to get touch-ups on a mainucure less than 24 hours after originally having it done... that day??? That day, all of us could!

The wedding went on as planned, well I guess we didn't plan for it to rain during the ceremony, but the guests were present and the couple was married. That, in the end, is what weddings are all about - the celebration of a new marriage, and so that day we celebrated, and I doubt many people will forget sitting under an umbrella (or maybe wishing they were sitting under an umbrella) at Teresa and Richard's wedding. All in all it was a beautiful wedding - maybe less-than-ideal weather has a way of making beautiful and determined people shine in a way that sun would never accomplish. I was honoured to stand up in support of them both.

After the wedding storm calmed down I headed west for a week to see two other great friends get married to each other. It was a beautiful indoor wedding - dry as can be, and for that I was relieved!) It was a wonderful chance to get caught up with dear friends, meet new people, and be reminded of who I am and who I want to and need to be in life. It was also interesting to re-tell the events/developments in my life to people I had seen only three months earlier, realizing how "super-sized" my summer really had been - almost in a way giving me permission to slow down and catch my breath, or at very least be okay with feeling a bit dizzy.

This week I get the keys to my house and I will slowly start to move in and sort out what life will look like for "Dana-the-grownup" (it's only a clever disguise, don't worry).

My pastor preached his final sermon at Church this morning as he is retiring from Pastoral Ministry and heading in a new direction. I found it to be very apropos as he aptly described transitions, a theme that I too have been sensing this summer. His title was "Unknown Paths Can Be Trusted" and he spoken on walking in faith and hope without necessarily having the concrete assurance of what comes next. It was a good challenge and reminder that God knows, and that for me, needs to be enough.
I often find myself on a "need-to-know" basis, striving impatiently to know the details in order to picture what comes next. Lately I've been sensing that maybe it is a "need-to-know" time of life, but I'm not the one who needs to know.